Hanging by a moment
by moonmagnet
Summary: A one-shot from Bogg's POV and how he wanted to find out more about Mrs. Everdeen. A first crack at a boggsdeen - Boggs x Mrs. Everdeen - fanfiction.


_**A/N: A little attempt at a boggsdeen (Boggs x Mrs. Everdeen) fanfiction from Bogg's pov. I really like this ship and it hurts me that it's not very popular, so I wanted to do a little something for it. It could be transformed into a collection of boggsdeen one-shots, I don't know yet. Depends if people like it. Review or comments are really appreciated. Thank you.**_

Life in District 13 was never easy. The daily routines, the timed meals, the discipline and control. Sometimes I wonder how much different this is from what Panem goes through every day under the rule of the Capitol. The difference is that we're fighting, I tell myself. The control within our own district is the only way we know how to ensure our survival since the rebellion decades ago. I was born here and these compartments are my life, after all. My mother died shortly after giving birth, her body in a fragile state when the epidemic spread. My father lived long enough to see me turn eighteen and join our army. After his death, this became my purpose. To fight for a free country so one day I can live a free life outdoors, outside these walls.

I like to think I was a good young soldier. Otherwise, they wouldn't have brought me up to the high ranks so quickly. When President Coin took power she appointed me as her right hand man. I'm not sure how much I trust her, but every time she tells me how much she values my loyalty, I shrug my doubts off. Almost afraid of what she could do if she thought otherwise. She's a woman of a few words, which makes her hard to read. I just hope that, no matter who she is as a leader, I'm doing my best to help our cause.

She's been quieter since we rescued Katniss Everdeen and the other victors. The big influx of refugees from District 12 required us to devote a lot of time and planning to restructure how our district and our small population work day to day. I know Coin must be exhausted because of that, though I think her silence has more to do with the girl on fire.

So much weight placed on a young woman's shoulders. As her primary protector, I get a first hand look at how hard life is for Katniss Everdeen. How her mission is too much of burden for a girl. She's just a girl. But sometimes, I think I'm the only one who sees that. It makes me feel even more responsible for protecting her. Not because it's Coin's orders, not because she's our Mockingjay, but because I thought that one day I'd have a daughter her age. And I'd protect her with my life.

It's strange how I never had a family. My dedication to the cause distracted me from the bigger things in life. I let my girlfriends slip away from me, one by one. And that time I proposed, she turned me down because "there was no point in having a husband she'd never see." As I became more of a lonely man, I dedicated more and more time to planning a new uprising. When Katniss took out those berries and shared them with Peeta, I knew it was time. With Plutarch in place, we could do so much. I had no idea Snow would pull such a dirty move with the Quarter Quell, though Coin seemed pleased with how clever he was. She said it made outsmarting him more "interesting." I still don't know how that could be interesting and not just plain tragic. Tragic is the only word I can think about lately that describes our situation. Just look at poor Peeta Mellark with his deranged mind and one can see what I mean. We should have taken him from the arena. Leaving him behind was too unfair to this boy. Though we owe our lives to his disgrace, for without his capture we wouldn't have been warned about the missile attack. What Katniss lost with Peeta reminds me of what I never had, making "tragic" the most appropriate word for my personal life as well.

I see how she's gone closer back to soldier Gale Hawthorne. I want to warn her, make her see through her feelings. Then I remember my own loneliness and realize how despicable it would be for me to prevent her from seeking human closeness. Peeta is so far gone, anyway. There's no going back. If he saved us in the past, he could be a threat in the future. I just hope he's kept under enough care that he won't hurt anyone. That way I won't have to hurt him. Nothing shakes the thought of the day of his return from my mind. The way he ran to Katniss only to strangle her. The disbelief in her eyes. How I had to knock him out. Too much for a pair of kids. Beginning that day, I began visiting her whenever I could at the hospital quarters.

I constantly tell myself my visits to Katniss were because I was responsible for her. When her throat was damaged, she couldn't even talk. I'd check on her and mumble something about having seen much worse in my frail attempt to reassure her things would be all right. If I couldn't fix Peeta for her, I could at least try to keep her spirits up about her physical recovery. I tried to see her everyday, but I'd be a fool not to admit that I also liked an excuse to head to the hospital. Katniss is the Mockingjay, and as such, the medical staff was always around her. Making her a priority. And not only is Mrs. Everdeen part of the medical team, she's also Katniss' mother, which makes her presence even more constant at her bedside.

I still don't know her first name. Nobody ever says it. She's Mrs. Everdeen or Katniss Everdeen's mother. I could ask someone, but I'd rather she told me herself. This makes it even more unlikely I'll ever know, for we never talk. She took care of me when Gale damaged my nose. That was the first time I wished I didn't have military duties waiting for me. I needed the rest I got at the hospital ward, but I could have used a few more days lying there. Our brief interactions only had to do with my nose or my vitals. Sometimes I'd wake up and find her sitting on the only chair on my side of the curtain. I used to try to read her expressions, see if I could figure out what she was thinking. It saddened me to conclude that all I ever saw in her was eyes was pain. Pain and exhaustion. The one time I saw her cry, I knew I had to do more. I had to protect her just like I vowed to protect her daughter. So it's no wonder I looked forward to making hospital visits whenever possible. They were my gateway to finding out more about this intriguing woman and I hung by every moment I could get.

Now that Katniss is fine and training to be a soldier, I have little reason to go to the hospital quarters. Last week I decided to complain about a pain in my lower back, and all I got was some ointment and a smile. It's almost mysterious and sad Mrs. Everdeen knew what I was up to. Now that I think of it, she surely did. I never sounded that ridiculous in my life.

"I'm going on a mission soon. Have you heard?" I told her when I walked in.

"I suppose. Katniss too," she said while she filled my chart. That was a bad way of striking up a conversation, by reminding her that she could lose her daughter once again.

"I mean, because of the mission I think I should get checked for this pain on my back," I accidentally pointed at my upper thighs instead of my lower back as I tried to stray the topic away from Katniss.

"Back or thighs?" she asked.

"Back." I felt like a complete fool. And when she asked me to lift up my shirt while she examined me for any redness, swelling, or bruising, I just hoped she didn't see my face. I never felt myself blush before, but I guess that was it.

"Nothing apparent. Maybe just a strained muscle from all your activity. Or even a bad sleeping position," she concluded.

"I slept on the floor a lot in the past months," I complemented her thought. Although the back pain was real, I was torn between admitting to it so she could help me, or tough it out and then admit that my real motive behind the complaint was seeing her.

"Probably that, then. I'll see if I can find anything for it. I'll be right back." She came back with ointment and instructed me to use it once a day.

And then I had my window. I wanted to say something more, maybe ask her about her first name. But I heard a knock on the door and it was Primrose, her younger daughter. She was reporting for her apprentice duties. I thought it was best for me to leave, though I'm still intrigued by the look the little girl gave me when she entered the room. Her eyes moved from me to her mother, and then back to me. If her mother didn't know why I was there, little Primrose Everdeen certainly did. Very smart and wise for her young age. People don't give her credit enough, but after seeing what Katniss can do, I have high hopes for her sister too. At least the ointment is working, so it wasn't that much of a waste, even if we couldn't talk much.

This morning Katniss should go through her exam, and, if she passes, she'll be assigned a squad. I know it will be my squad, and even though that means I'll be involved in more propos, I'm content with my duty of protecting her. I don't trust many other people to do that here. Maybe Gale Hawthorne. He'd die for her in a second, I'm sure. She'd also have one more person to jump in front of a bullet for her, Peeta Mellark, if he was still a sane person. Since that's not case, I'll do it if the time ever comes. I'd be not only protecting Katniss from harm, but also protecting her mother from more pain. Seems like a fair deal to me.

I'm in Command and Katniss arrives. She's surprised to be here. I guess she thought she'd be somewhere else, maybe getting her hair buzzed and thrown into frontline squads. We're a special unit of sharpshooters, I tell her. Though I know all we'll do is scout shooting targets for the cameras. The propos annoy me sometimes, but I hide it while trying to encourage Katniss and arguing how important it is for her to help build morale in the rebellion. She hates them more than I do. We show her the pods, the crucial targets we must hit to make passage safe for more rebels. She looks mesmerized at the panel and Finnick Odair joins her. The comparison is inevitable. We'll be entering an arena. Not only one victor will be left this time, I hope. Not if I can help it. I'm relieved to see them crack some jokes about it, though I know deep down Soldier Odair is concerned for his wife. I don't officially have anyone I'm leaving behind, but I'm concerned too. For the people of District 13. And for her. She won't miss me, but if I fail, Katniss could be in great danger. Soldier Everdeen, that is. I'm supposed to focus on her rank, though I feel she's the only thing I'd ever have close to family at this point.

I learn of the crisis with Johanna Mason and give Soldier Everdeen a pass to the woods. Her idea of how to make her friend better makes me proud. Not matter how many times she tries to argue she's tired of everything, she cares. That's something people can see in her. Unfortunately, that's something I think I'll never see in Coin. So focused on the end goal, she lost track of the little things that matter.

We train for a few more days. Shooting becomes a priority, but I also want to get everyone in my squad to trust each other. We're in this together. The day Plutarch announces the "Star squad" plans, I see and hear disappointment take over the group. I wish I could have told them sooner, but I was told not to intervene in Plutarch's plans. Katniss is quiet though. Normally, she'd be the first one to complain. I know why she hasn't said a word. Although I can't read her mother very well, non-action only means one thing when it comes to the girl on fire: she has other plans.

The morning we're supposed to leave, every member of the squad takes to their family and friends for good-byes. Having none, I sit in my compartment thinking about what lies ahead. I can't shake the feeling that Coin has hidden something from me. Being her right hand man really means nothing, when all she requires of me is the ability to follow orders. Her real motives are still a closed book. I saw her working with Soldier Hawthorne a few days ago. Beetee was there and seemed to explain some drawings to her. It looks like bombs to me. I just hope she has the good sense of avoiding another mess like the one we went through in District 2. Though my instincts tell me otherwise. They tell me there are more than propos and shooting targets waiting for us.

I still have a few hours to kill before our hovercraft leaves, so I wander around our underground facilities. My feet lead me to the hospital doors, where I see Katniss give her sister a long and tender hug. I just hope I can bring them back together the same way they found each other after the last times they were separated. I watch them as I consider walking through those doors to see the one person I think I'd like to say good-bye to. It may be foolish of me, but if I'm granted the opportunity to come back alive, I'll tell her. For now I just need the same reassuring smile she gave me that first night she cared for me in my hospital room.

I walk in and she's still shaken. I can tell she's been crying. She looks up when I come closer. Why am I always lost for words when she's around? I simply take her hand and give it a gentle kiss. She returns the gesture with the smile I had been looking for.

"I'll see you soon," I say.

"I hope so," she replies.

And with that I make my way to the hovercraft, regretting the fact I forgot to ask for her first name again. It doesn't matter. I'll do it when I come back.


End file.
